Last week, I spent a lot of time worried and upset. I was dealing with constant feelings of unworthiness, inadequacy, and guilt. I allowed myself to think about these things constantly and I allowed them to consume my mind. But, Sunday night I had to take a step back and really spend time pouring my heart out to God (something I should really do everyday). You see the thing is, I am unworthy and inadequate. I am a sinner who constantly tries to take control of my life. But, thanks to an amazing God, those things do not have to define me or my life. I am so unworthy of God's grace but his love for me far outweighs that. My God loved me so much that he sent his son to die for me. Yes me, a person that everyday messes up. I do not have to be "good enough" for God to love me. He forgives me and accepts me for who I am because he loves me (even when I am inadequate).
But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8
So, this week I decided that I was going to spend the week praising God and looking at all the amazing blessings he has given me. And that in itself has been a HUGE blessing. Every time I have found myself getting a little worried, I have stopped and thought about my blessings. The times when I am feeling the most undeserving of God's blessings, I am missing all the wonderful things he is doing in my life.
I counted my blessings and they added up to.....
1- Every morning I have woken up wide awake and happy to start a new day. I spent time with God, watched the sunrise, and got ready in 1 hour (EVERYDAY)!
2- Two days this week I got home before 5! And all four days this week I have come home and washed my face and have enjoyed countless hours with no makeup on. For those that don't know me well, I hate wearing makeup. But, my older sister taught me that it is better to impress than depress. So, I strive to impress and put it on anyways.
3- Each day I have worn a brand new outfit, all thanks to a wonderful and loving mother who took me shopping to buy all new clothes. Yes, it is true...nothing in my closet fits! It is all too big (such an amazing feeling)!
4- All week I have eaten very healthy. I have cooked dinner 3/4 nights (the fourth night I ate at Bible study and we also had a nutritious meal), my snack has been grapes, I have not eaten after dinner, and have had nothing but water and milk to drink! It is amazing how happy you can feel when you eat healthy.
5- My poor very pale skin has gotten some sun. Yes, it really is a miracle! That absolutely never happens. And the best part is, I have yet to get burnt. I am thankful for 4 sunny days on the playground with my kids!
6- I had several parent/teacher conferences this week. All parents showed up and remained positive. Yet another successful moment that does not happen much.
7- My last observation is completed!!!!!!!!
8- My TA is BEYOND amazing. She even agreed to sub for me in May if there is a day she does not have to proctor. Fingers crossed people!
9- The kids have overall been very good this week. Today we made pancakes and yes it was wild but oh so much fun!
10- Realization has set in, I have less than 40 days of school left! Which means, only 2 more center rotations to plan, about 7 more weeks of lesson planning, one more round of assessments, let's just say the countdown is on!
11- I had an amazing time with my Bible study girls! I love them all so dearly and I am so thankful to have them in my life. We are currently studying the book of Hosea and reading Redeeming Love (a book that hits so close to home).
12- I have laughed a lot. I have smiled a lot. Both of which I love to do!
13- A few different times I have found myself sharing things about my life with someone, who does not know everything about me, that I am usually very weary about sharing (I don't know what to think about this---what has gotten into me, hahaha)!
This list could go on and on. Yes, these are only a few of the many blessings I have received this week! And overall, this week has been beautiful and I owe it all to my sovereign Lord!
Great is the Lord and most worthy of praise; his greatness no one can fathom.
Psalm 145:3
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